Friday, January 8, 2010

bon appétit!

So i am currently living a Fat Free lifestyle, and to me the word "lifestyle" really fits.
During my pregnancy i began to experience gall bladder attacks, which are very painful. At first i wasn't sure as to what was going on, but i ruled it out as an allergic reaction to certain foods.
After Isaiah's birth, these attacks became a lot more severe and frequent. When he was 2 weeks old i ended up going to the ER twice because the pain had gotten so bad. They referred me to a surgeon and gave me a strict non-fat diet program that i needed to follow very scrupulously.
I scheduled an appointment for surgery in November, but because of many variables that unexpectedly came up i needed to change it. So as of now, i don't have another date set up and it has already been almost 6 months now that i have had to only eat foods with no fat in them. A part of me was really dreading the holidays, because lets agree that one of the most exciting things about the holidays is the eating part. Avoiding the delicious looking deserts wasn't as hard as i thought it would be. The hard part was just finding anything to eat at all!
During the summer and early fall i was able to eat a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables, but now with it all looking pretty dried out in the grocery store i have had to come up with some other alternatives. My mother-in-law found me a Non-Fat Cook book, that i have used so much! I have actually been able to make myself some pretty decent meals and enjoy them. One of the biggest benefits from this diet is that i have finally learned to cook, and absolutely enjoy it! My husband can attest to the fact that i am on my way to becoming the next healthy version of Julia Child. When we first got married i didn't even know how to boil water... pretty pathetic, i know! I blame it on the fact that i was always the one setting the table when i was growing up, and never allowed in the kitchen except for when i had to clean the dishes. Now i make pretty much everything from scratch, and can easily substitute many things for a non fat version. A part of me wishes that i could turn it into some type of career later on, but that will come in its own timing.
There have definitely been some major downfalls to this as well. At Isaiah's 4 month checkup the doctor seemed pretty concerned about his weight. He had gone from the 50th percentile down to the 25th in just 2 months and was showing signs of some allergies. I was exclusively breast feeding, and it was going so well, except for the fact that Isaiah was getting no fat from me. So the doctor gave me a few options of what to do and i chose to begin giving him rice cereal in the morning and evening and to mix in some formula with it. It was very disappointing to me because i promised myself that i wouldn't ever give any of my children formula because nursing is so much more beneficial to them. In Isaiah's case though i understand that it has become necessary for his proper growth. Anyways, he is doing really well, and slowly gaining back his weight.
Me, on the other hand is starving! I feel like i need to be constantly eating, especially because i am still breast feeding and losing calories all day long. I'm nervous to do any sort of exercise because i am afraid to lose any more weight than i already have. I am feeling weak, tired, and just generally unwell. Which is the complete opposite of how i felt during my pregnancy! I had never felt better in my life! I felt so healthy and energetic, and got so much done during those 9 months! I amazed myself! I just want that back, i want to feel healthy again, i want to feel full!
So anyways, i am hoping to schedule an appointment for sometime in February. I'm just getting a little nervous about the preparation of having to pump for Isaiah, and not being able to do much for him for a couple weeks. He still is not sleeping through the night, which is fine with me, but will make it difficult for whomever is getting up with him during my recovery. I just never thought i would be having surgery at such a young age... but i guess i never thought i would have gotten married, or had a baby at such a young age either.
I just need to trust that God is going to take care of everything and that Isaiah will be in good hands.
I am very thankful that this is a fixable problem, and that i will be able to enjoy sharing a meal with my family, or going out to dinner! I do still plan to live a very healthy lifestyle, and i find myself feeling very passionate about it, but i'm looking forward to the freedom to indulge myself every once in a while with a treat.
So thats what i mean when i say i'm living a Fat Free Lifestyle.. because it sure feels like it to me!

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