Wednesday, May 16, 2012

My Hands are Full, and so is My Heart.

I can't believe Ezra is going to be 6 weeks this Friday! That beautiful morning feels like forever ago, and at the same time like it was yesterday.
He is already starting to grow out of his Newborn clothes and cloth diapers at a whopping 9.5lbs!

God has blessed me with him and already been challenging my patience with him. So far i feel like i have remained strong in parenting 2 little ones. It seems the question everyone is asking me these days is: "Is he sleeping through the night yet?" I always giggle inside, because in my mind i don't expect a newborn to sleep through the night. I know people are always just concerned that the mother is getting enough sleep herself.... but that too makes me giggle. Motherhood = sleep deprived. Amazingly enough, Ezra has been sleeping like a champ! From his first night on he hasn't woken up more than 1 or 2 times during the night. He even sleeps in for me. I had prepared myself for at least a year of sleeplessness. Mr. Big Brother was not easy when it came to sleep. Around 1 1/2 he naturally began to sleep thru the night on his own. I was so grateful. Co-sleeping has worked wonders for our family and has proven itself to me again with Ezra.

During the day is another story.
I am still trying to figure out if Ezra is colicky or just a very high-need infant.
The first 2 to 3 weeks were absolutely bliss and i was under the illusion that i had a miracle baby. He Never cried.... not even when he was hungry, needed a diaper change, or tired. He just never cried. I almost worried about him at some points.
BUT then it was almost as if he woke up one morning and decided that he would rather just cry all day long. He literally does cry all day. If he is not sleeping or in my Moby wrap then he is crying. That is both an understatement and an overstatement. He does have his few moments of contentment and smiles, but otherwise he is overall pretty cranky in my opinion.
My mom suggested that i take him to my chiropractor. She said it worked wonders for one of her colicky babies. I think i'll give it a try.

I'm pretty particular about my home. There have been very few times in the past couple years that my home has gotten out of hand. Neat freakish-ness runs in my family... and i will blame it on them. It is more of a burden than anything.... so don't wish it upon yourself.
On that note: It has been very hard to get anything done when i am carrying Ezra all day. I really can't put him down, both because I don't want to and he doesn't want me to. Carrying him in my Moby wrap is the only way i can get around, and even that has its limits. I mean, i can't bring it in the shower with me. :-)
My husband is an amazing Daddy and tries to help me out..... but the only thing that is worse than holding my crying baby, is watching while someone else is holding my crying baby. Dan has mostly taken Isaiah duty these days. I am amazed at the relentlessness that he has when he gets home from work. Isaiah greets him at the door and after he has changed and washed his hands he plays with Isaiah until bedtime. I do have to say that i miss Isaiah though. I noticed an ache in my heart soon after Ezra was born and i realized it was because i could no longer focus my everything on my one and only. I knew it was coming, and that i would have to balance my time between the 2, but i wasn't prepared for the feeling that came along with it.

As far as tiredness and energy goes i feel great. The days following Ezra's birth didn't feel any different to me. I didn't even feel like i had birthed a baby. I was barely tired and even went outside the next day. When my midwife came for a visit the following day she was surprised that i was even up and walking around. I thought that i would be sore from squatting and 36 hours of contractions, but wasn't. It was so nice and i blame it all on a little secret of mine. AND if you are really curious as to what that is.... then you can shoot me a message on Facebook, or email me. :-)

So that's it, that's us and that is my life as of right now.
As far as my birth story goes, i am still working on it.... actually i haven't even started. That is certainly one of the hardest things to write for me. It is so personal, intimate, monumental, and endearing to me. I will write it though, and it will be sooner than later!

Thanks for reading!