To my 3 year old.

What a beautiful morning it was the day that you were born. Peaceful, happy and exciting. You brought tears of joy to your daddy and i the moment we first saw you. Thinking about those first moments still brings tears of joy to my face. There are few people in this world that i am In Love With, and you, my Isaiah Paul, are one of them.
If i could give you one word that embodies your character it would be 'passion'.
You play with a passion.
You run with a passion.
You dance and sing with a passion.
You talk with a passion.
You hug and kiss with passion.
You love with a passion.
Your an "all or nothing" kind of boy.
People remark a lot on how you always seem to never be without a smile, and although you are not perfect, you certainly radiate happiness. Even if i am having a horrible and impatient day, you somehow remain steadfast.
I love that you wear your heart on your sleeve but yet show much self control when i know it is in you to be impulsive. You are a leader, but you know when to follow. You are independent yet still rely so comfortably on me. You are a listener and you take the time to think about what others are saying. You are so aware of the world around you. You are unique and it saddens me when others don't see you as i do.

This past year has been full of changes and excitement:
You pretty much taught yourself how to go diaper free right after you turned 2 which left me a very happy mama.

You learned how to become a big brother. It all started with helping our Midwife check the babies heartbeat while it was growing inside my tummy and helping me through my labor. You were there with us when we welcomed baby Ezra into our home and right away you assigned him is very own car.
You learned how to share a mommy and daddy that was all your own with a new baby and have done an amazing job so far. You are so sweet with Ezra that it absolutely melts my heart. I love to spy on you when your in the room alone with him and he begins to whimper. You get real close and say in a soft high pitched voice "Its okay Ezwa, don't cry Ezwa. Be happy, don't worry." You are so patient. I love seeing the endearment on your face when you are talking to Ezra. You are such a good big brother.

You are in LOVE with Cars. You are Obsessed with cars!! You play with cars every day, all day long. You love watching anything having to do with cars. You bring the cars to the potty, in the car, to the store, on our walks.... you sleep with cars. You talk about cars, fast cars, big cars, little cars. You will be in the middle of a sentence and see a car and exclaim, "Fast Car!" I have no idea what your going to be when you grow up, but i wont be one bit surprised if it has to do with cars.

You are learning about God. Its amazing to hear you talk to God and ask me if we can pray. Your still trying to figure Him out and have asked where He is, but you still continue to talk to Him. I can't wait for the day that you realize all that He has done for You!

You are 3.... 2 is gone. Although i fight the urge to ball my eyes out every single time i think about it, and although i know my heart is going to break with every birthday that comes and goes it will also be filled with so much of your contagious joy, because i am incredibly blessed to be your mother.

I love you Isaiah Paul.... "So Much".

FMG

My friend Katie asked me if i would like to go to the Fredrick Meijer Gardens with her and her 2 boys. They have a membership and free guest pass. She generously drove out to Belding to pick us up. I always appreciate it SO much when people drive all the way out to us, especially to pick us up just to go in the opposite direction!

Anyways, we had so much fun with them. Playdates really benefit Isaiah and i'm always feeling guilty about not getting him out of the house more to play with other children his age. Its hard with only one car and living 30 minutes to an hour away from all our friends.
Her boys are going to be 2 and 4 very soon, so Isaiah is right in the middle of them.
It was a relaxing morning with them and Katie and i were able to chat and follow them around.
Dan and i are considering getting a membership, because its just a great place for families year round.

Enjoy the Pictures!

Thanks for reading!!

Summer Goals

On Tuesday around 5pm i decided to take a drive out to the beach with my 2 boys. It was a hot day, high 90's and after working for my mom all weekend i felt like getting out and doing something fun.
Isaiah was already in his swimsuit and i had a few diapers and my Moby Wrap, pretty much all we need to have a fun filled evening.
I stopped to grab a bite of food for the road and Isaiah slept on the car ride there. He woke up as soon as we were turning the bend that opens up to the great view of the lake. He was thrilled!
We had so much fun splashing in the waves and kicking sand at each others legs. He ran around in circles for what seemed like forever. Since it was a spur of the moment decision to go out there i didn't have a camera with me, or even my phone. Bummer.
This is the 2nd time we have been out there this summer which makes me SO happy! I love the summer, warm weather and sunny skies, its just the best in my opinion! It got me to thinking about my summer goals.....

~ Have a smashing fun 3rd Birthday party for Isaiah! (in the works)
~ Go on a childless date with my Husband
~ Go to the beach at least 5 times
~ Go Blueberry picking (i went last summer and i'm pretty sure Isaiah ate just as many as i picked, that was fun the following day LOL)
~ Go Strawberry picking
~ Have a garage sale (already in the works)
~ complete 3 different crafts
~ Go to the Zoo
~ Go to Fredrick Meijer Gardens
~ Go on a road trip
~ Run a 5K .... possibly 2.
~ Blog about all of the above!

Hopefully i can accomplish most of those. Its going to be a busy summer as it is another summer of weddings for us! I am so, so excited. I just love watching the ones i love most get married. What a happy time of life!
Dan was in a wedding last month. My sister is getting married on July 4th. Dan is the Best Man in our friend Toms wedding in August. My childhood friend, Michelle, is getting married  at the end of August as well. Her twin sister, Erika, is also getting married 3 weeks later. I am a Bridesmaid in both of their weddings. I feel so honored! I am so excited to celebrate with all of them!
whew!

At the end of summer i will come back and see if i've accomplished all my goals. Writing them down usually keeps me a bit more accountable. If you are at all interested in joining me while i do any of those activities feel free! The more the merrier!

Thanks for reading! :-)

The Difference.

Can you tell who is who?

My Hands are Full, and so is My Heart.

I can't believe Ezra is going to be 6 weeks this Friday! That beautiful morning feels like forever ago, and at the same time like it was yesterday.
He is already starting to grow out of his Newborn clothes and cloth diapers at a whopping 9.5lbs!

God has blessed me with him and already been challenging my patience with him. So far i feel like i have remained strong in parenting 2 little ones. It seems the question everyone is asking me these days is: "Is he sleeping through the night yet?" I always giggle inside, because in my mind i don't expect a newborn to sleep through the night. I know people are always just concerned that the mother is getting enough sleep herself.... but that too makes me giggle. Motherhood = sleep deprived. Amazingly enough, Ezra has been sleeping like a champ! From his first night on he hasn't woken up more than 1 or 2 times during the night. He even sleeps in for me. I had prepared myself for at least a year of sleeplessness. Mr. Big Brother was not easy when it came to sleep. Around 1 1/2 he naturally began to sleep thru the night on his own. I was so grateful. Co-sleeping has worked wonders for our family and has proven itself to me again with Ezra.



During the day is another story.
I am still trying to figure out if Ezra is colicky or just a very high-need infant.
The first 2 to 3 weeks were absolutely bliss and i was under the illusion that i had a miracle baby. He Never cried.... not even when he was hungry, needed a diaper change, or tired. He just never cried. I almost worried about him at some points.
BUT then it was almost as if he woke up one morning and decided that he would rather just cry all day long. He literally does cry all day. If he is not sleeping or in my Moby wrap then he is crying. That is both an understatement and an overstatement. He does have his few moments of contentment and smiles, but otherwise he is overall pretty cranky in my opinion.
My mom suggested that i take him to my chiropractor. She said it worked wonders for one of her colicky babies. I think i'll give it a try.

I'm pretty particular about my home. There have been very few times in the past couple years that my home has gotten out of hand. Neat freakish-ness runs in my family... and i will blame it on them. It is more of a burden than anything.... so don't wish it upon yourself.
On that note: It has been very hard to get anything done when i am carrying Ezra all day. I really can't put him down, both because I don't want to and he doesn't want me to. Carrying him in my Moby wrap is the only way i can get around, and even that has its limits. I mean, i can't bring it in the shower with me. :-)
My husband is an amazing Daddy and tries to help me out..... but the only thing that is worse than holding my crying baby, is watching while someone else is holding my crying baby. Dan has mostly taken Isaiah duty these days. I am amazed at the relentlessness that he has when he gets home from work. Isaiah greets him at the door and after he has changed and washed his hands he plays with Isaiah until bedtime. I do have to say that i miss Isaiah though. I noticed an ache in my heart soon after Ezra was born and i realized it was because i could no longer focus my everything on my one and only. I knew it was coming, and that i would have to balance my time between the 2, but i wasn't prepared for the feeling that came along with it.

As far as tiredness and energy goes i feel great. The days following Ezra's birth didn't feel any different to me. I didn't even feel like i had birthed a baby. I was barely tired and even went outside the next day. When my midwife came for a visit the following day she was surprised that i was even up and walking around. I thought that i would be sore from squatting and 36 hours of contractions, but wasn't. It was so nice and i blame it all on a little secret of mine. AND if you are really curious as to what that is.... then you can shoot me a message on Facebook, or email me. :-)

So that's it, that's us and that is my life as of right now.
As far as my birth story goes, i am still working on it.... actually i haven't even started. That is certainly one of the hardest things to write for me. It is so personal, intimate, monumental, and endearing to me. I will write it though, and it will be sooner than later!

Thanks for reading!

Anticipation! (9 days "late')

This has definitely been 9 days of anticipation! I love being pregnant, BUT i am so ready to meet our little one! Every time i feel it moving around, which is quite often, i just long to be holding it in my arms. I want to meet this beautiful creation that God has made inside of me!

I talked with my Midwife yesterday and she reassured me that i am doing fine. Originally my calculated due date was March 27th. I have always measured farther along though and my due date was calculated for the 12th. Although i measured at 40 weeks at my last visit with my Midwife i still have a lot of leeway with my due date. So being 9 days over really is of no concern. I am almost positive though that if i was having my baby at the hospital and had a doctor that they would be pushing me to induce....grrr! Thank goodness for Homebirth! (thank goodness for hospitals, when Needed)

I am feeling really good except for my feet. The soles of my feet are starting to get really tired from carrying so much weight.... and improper footwear which i blame on this warm weather. I have been going on walks every day since my due date. Sometimes a couple times a day. My midwife also suggested that i eat Eggplant to possibly get things going. We had Eggplant Parmesan last night for dinner and last night around 3:30am i am almost positive that i woke up to a contraction. I went to the bathroom and went back to bed and felt nothing else. Last week the same thing happened the night after i wrote my pregnancy update. I felt a couple contractions throughout the night, but they were gone by morning. Maybe i'm just dreaming.....

I think the pressure from everyone was really starting to get to me this past weekend and i felt myself getting pretty emotional. I spent Monday and Tuesday at my moms which i am so thankful for. It really helped to get my mind off of everything and just relax with Isaiah and enjoy the beautiful weather with my nieces and nephews. I think i would be going crazy if it wasn't for this weather!!

So maybe THIS will be my last pregnancy update!!

Last Pregnancy update....maybe.

As of the 12th (yesterday), i am now 40 weeks pregnant. I cannot believe that i have been pregnant for the last 9 months. On one hand it feels like forever and in another light it has gone by so fast.
I had a Midwife visit yesterday and it was great. They all have been great, but it was so exciting knowing that it could be my last visit. At my previous visit the baby was in a bit of an awkward position that would have led to a lot of back labor, which is no fun. This time (yesterday) within seconds of me lifting up my shirt for my Midwife to check the baby she exclaimed "Wow, she's moved!". I loved it! I love how in tune and connected Midwives become to their clients and babies. It really is amazing to watch.
The babies head is engaged and in a great position to be born. I measured exactly 40 weeks and everything looks great. It left me feeling so at ease and ready to meet my new little one.....boy or girl :-)
My mom and i went out to get a Mani/Pedi, which was her Birthday gift to me. My midwife told me that she just had 2 clients who had both gone into labor right after getting a Pedicure, so i thought it might be a good night to finally go out and do it.... obviously it didn't work, but i do have pretty toes and nails just in time for some amazing weather! Today Isaiah and i spent most of the day outside. We played in the yard and then went for a long walk down to the park and back. I've definitely had a lot of Braxton-Hicks, especially when i am doing something active..... but nothing more, and that is okay with me. I am a firm believer in letting the baby come on its own when it is good and ready.
I have been replaying Isaiah's Birth in my head over and over and i have been so curious as to how this next birth will play out differently. Last time it was so intimate.... just me, my husband, my Midwife and my mom. This time Isaiah, my Mother in law, my friend Mandy, and Doula Jodi will also be here with us..... 8 people in our tiny house. I know that it will still be very intimate, just in a different way.
I am so excited to watch how Isaiah reacts to everything. He may be a little confused with all the people at our house at once, but i think he really will understand what is going on. He seems to get that the baby is coming out of my belly soon and that we will get to hold it and take care of it as a family.

So instead of listening to my body and putting myself to bed i am up typing this and thinking about the 2 baskets of clothes standing a couple feet in front of me that need to be folded.....the dust that i saw earlier on the bookshelf upstairs.... the car seat that needs to be put in the car.... oh i could go on.
That is definitely one thing that is an adjustment with having a Homebirth verses a hospital birth. Normally most visitors will come see you at the hospital before you are discharged to go home. With a Homebirth people are coming to your home to see you and the baby and if your a neat freak like me than it is definitely something you have to choose to relax about. Most people don't really know how to react to a Homebirth... its really quit simple. You come to see the baby and the family. You offer your warm regards. Then you happily go on your way and let the mother and family get some rest. Just like you would if they were at the hospital. :-)

I think it is time for me to say goodnight, and hopefully next time i post it will be about our second Birth story!